SFF
I am so fucking frustrated. I am tired of being judged by EVERYONE because of my relationship. It’s not perfect, there’s room for lots of improvement. But, it’s full of love. I love him so much. And, all I want is for us to grow together because we’re really something special.
I need to know that when I’m not around I’m not forgotten.
I literally watched about 3 minutes of Manic before I had to change it. Watching them send him to the mental hospital was all too real. Ironically, in a few years I may be the person sending someone to the hospital or actually working there counseling people. Funny how the world turns full circle.
I’m cheating myself out of the happiness I deserve.
I’m such a needy cunt! I am so terribly annoyed with myself. The other night was very fun and sweet. I’d like it if it didn’t go the way those things usually go but I shouldn’t hold my breath. I have terrible luck when it comes to that shit.
But, in other and more important news, I got into grad school. I’m pretty damn pleased about that. GO ME. FUCK YES.
It’s date night tonight. I’m tired of dating. I’ve taken a huge step away from it but sometimes I can’t quite say no.
I’m really bad at dating. But, I’m pretty decent in bed.
So I think I would have to agree (with no one) that I am over-reacting. But being ignored is something I have a huge problem with because I fear being forgotten.
I have a last interview thing today for the second job I’m trying to get and I have a week to hear back from LMU.
I can’t write anymore; I need to cry and let some emotions out cause they are just suffocating me from the inside.
"I just want to hide from life right now cause I’m a big fucking baby. "
a)I don’t enjoy any relationship that feels like pulling teeth.
b)I am so frustrated with life.
c)I am aching to get out of town for awhile, even a short while.
d)I don’t want to be tied down to the life I’m living.
e)I want someone I want to want me back and be able to give me something I need.
f)I’ve got nothing to give but love. Why is that so hard to return?
part 2
I really don’t want to get out of the car. I’ve been crying too hard and I won’t be able to hide it. I don’t know if I can handle the emergency room tonight. I don’t know if I can handle a lot of things anymore.
